Village Wisdom

I came across this in the little village newsletter and thought I’d share it with you, as it kind of sums up life in my village.

1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
4. You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden
5. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
6. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
7. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
8. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
9. It’s impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee
10. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
11. You can’t respect a man you carries a dog.
12. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
13. You’ve turned in to your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
15. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a “use by” date?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.